Web Belinda whips up new politics
TheStar.com - Web Belinda whips up new politics
Winter doldrums. Pervasive weight of SAD — you know, seasonal affective disorder — descends.
Tried and true resolution: Throw a party!
Think. What is the latest trend in parties? Massive vodka tub chipped out of backyard ice berm? Passé, passé. Martinis? Circa last year. Low-carb beer? Well, doesn't that just sound like a whole heck of a lot of fun.
Turn to Belinda for advice.
Yes, Belinda.
Not Belinda herself, in person, you understand. But Belinda the Web site, her other self. There's something about Belinda that suggests the essence of a party girl. Possibly Belinda the Web site provides party tips. Something festive but with a soupçon of political flair.
What's this? Right there on Belinda.ca the Conservative leadership hopeful offers "Planning Tips" for "Hosting a Belinda House Party." Sometimes you just can't believe your own dumb luck. The erstwhile auto parts executive has taken all the angst, all the stress, out of party preparations.
Her organizers have thought of just about every little thing.
Step One: Invite the guests! Sounds obvious, but remember, some of us are forgetful. "Develop a list of people you can invite to attend the House Party. Begin with your neighbors (new and old), family, friends and colleagues. Think broadly!"
Worry not about family feuds, spouse swapping neighbours and long-held political animosities. "You might be surprised at which of your friends will come," advises Web Belinda. "People don't have to be politically active to attend, only concerned about the direction our country is heading. Look for names in your Rolodex file, address book, e-mail lists, and your holiday card list."
Easy enough.
Step Two: remember the date. Wednesday, Feb. 25. It may sound odd to have a party date chosen for you. Think of it as a gift. Picking a party date can be enormously stressful.
True, Wednesday may not seem the edgiest night of the week. But time is of the essence here. The deadline date for signing up new Conservative party members is Feb. 29. The last bit may sound a touch pedestrian, but remember, just because it's a political membership drive doesn't prevent you from enjoying your favourite Coldplay tunes until 4 a.m.
Step Three: Worried about drawing a sell-out crowd in such a short lead time? Web Belinda has advice: "Remember the old `wedding rule' — invite four times as many people as you have set as your target number. Many people may not be able to attend (but they can still join the Conservative party) and others may not show up on the day of your house party."
How about some added insurance. "Ask every person who accepts to bring a guest along with them. You will increase your potential membership sales and they may feel more comfortable being able to bring a friend. Give a prize to the guests that brings (sic) the most friends along."
Web Belinda offers no gift suggestions. Use your imagination.
Step Four: Encourage attendees to bring their non-communicative teenagers. 14-year-olds are invited to join the Conservative Party so long as they pay the same signup fee as everyone else — $10. This sum, by the way, must come from the teenager's own resources which should not be a problem as teenagers, as we know, have vastly deeper resources than their kid-whipped parents.
Step Five: Aim to sign up at least 10 new Conservative party members prior to party day. Why would you want to do that? For the simple reason that 10 advance membership sales may draw Belinda to your party. No, not the real Belinda. "The centerpiece of your Belinda house party on February 25 could be having Belinda on the phone. Each successful House Party host will be given the 1-800 number and password to dial into the National House Party Conference Call that Belinda will be on if you sell at least 10 memberships by February 24th."
Step Six: Not used to conducting conference calls from the comfort of your rumpus room? Again, Web Belinda has the answer. "For the conference call, you will want to test your speakerphone ahead of time to make sure that it works properly. You will also want to make sure that the volume is adjusted so that all of your friends can hear. If you do not have a speakerphone, you can borrow one from a friend."
Step Seven: What to serve? Always vexing. Here Web Belinda offers only the most general guidelines. "When deciding upon refreshments remember it does not have to be elaborate or expensive. Any amount you spend in this regard must be paid with your personal funds and may not be expensed or reimbursed." Pies are always nice. Bake the biggest pie you possibly can.
Step Eight: Be prepared. You will want to set up a table to hold membership forms, a sign-up sheet and campaign literature, as well as stickers, buttons and posters. Extra pens are always a good idea. Try not to make this display appear like something out of a Grand & Toy catalogue.
Step Nine: What to wear? Web Belinda offers a photo of what is meant to be a house party in action. For the men: shirt and tie. Jacket optional. For the women: that impossible to attain post-work sleek designer look. Should all of your friends and family look like Janel Moloney and Eric McCormack, they will be playing to type.
Step Ten: Be assertive. Says Web Belinda: "Don't be shy! Remember you are hosting this party; be upfront about your intentions. Explain to your guests why you support Belinda and the importance of her candidacy in this leadership race. Let them know that this is a numbers game."
Step Eleven, try to maintain a party atmosphere while muscling your guests to sign those membership forms. "Ask your guests for their support more than once," says Web Belinda. "Have someone by the door who can hand out supporter forms as they arrive. Ask again after they have had the opportunity to hear Belinda speak, and remind them why you are supporting her. Do not let your guests leave without one final ask."
Finally, don't forget to have fun.
The future in Canadian politics is just beginning.
February 22, 2004 at 12:50 PM in Politics | Permalink
| TrackBack (5)
| Top of page
| Blog Home
